The 1st Birthday Countdown

I have been sharing my bittersweet feelings of my son’s impending first birthday… that is… quickly approaching… on Instagram. I thought I could hang. I didn’t even think I’d cry. I mean I should be happy! I’ve made it through the first year! He survived the first year with brand new parents! That should be an accomplishment. But this feeling in my gut…. Where did you come from all of a sudden?

I reminisce quite a lot. I’m emotional. I’m sentimental. I feel things most people often ignore. I look for sentiment within things that others mine not look for. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

My sweet sweet friend Carmen shared a video with me on my Facebook. And I’m pretty sure this is what has started my sobbing and sulking the past 3 days. I can’t drive down the street without reminiscing about this video which creates my eyes to swell with tears. Here is the video… and if you are anything like I have mentioned above, you need to have a few Kleenex handy and don’t forget to turn on the subtitles.

 

That’s the feeling I’ve been feeling. That feeling in my gut. Its my first birthday too. I made it. I covered my son in love. I did the best job I knew how to do and I… we… survived. It’s an accomplishment in my eyes. How did I get to be worthy enough to be this little boys Mama? And how did I get to be so lucky that God put him in my life? God saw something in ME to allow me to become a Mom. I am forever grateful.

{allow me to recover… I can’t see the screen through my tears…}

 

I can’t get enough of those wet slobbery kisses.

I can’t get enough of all those spit raspberries.

Or how he follows me around begging me to pick him up.

 

So I’m soaking it up. I am trying my hardest to squeeze every bit out newborn out of him these next two months.Β And yet at the same time, through all these tears, through this gut feeling inside, I am still celebrating. I am counting down to this birthday. He made it, I made it, WE made it. The first of many more to come.

 

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They always said the first year is so rough, so it is fitting that the ending of the first year would be the cherry on top. Will you join me and help me celebrate with this first birthday countdown? Join me on my Instagram if you aren’t already!

 

xoxo,

The Sentimental Mama

 

Brianne Geiger